The Ultimate List

These are things I should make a list of, but won't.

1. Things that bother me. (a much shorter version would be a list of things that don't.)
2. Things that don't bother me. (I'm too lazy to try.)
3. Things I'm too lazy to try.
4. Things that are blue.
5. Things that aren't blue but should be.
6. Things that shouldn't be be blue.
7. Things that make me blue.
8. Things that blue me. (not be confused with the past-tense of 'blow')
9. Things that haven't blown me.
10. Things a blue balloon would say after I blow it up.
11. Things the wind would say if it say me blowing up a blue balloon.
12. Things that would happen if: (a series to follow)
> I switched the oxygen tanks in a hospital to NO2.
> I made the 'in' door out, and the 'out' door in without telling customers.
> I put a gratuitous amount of Vodka in the city's clean water supply.
> I flipped all the streetlights upside down.
> I turned all the streetlights around.
18. Things that would happen if I didn't make this list.
19. People who will copy the originality of this list.
20. Things people will say who copy the originality of this list.
21. Things the people who copy the originality of this list will suffer if they copy the originality of this list.
22. The reasons surrounding the creation of this list.
23. The reasons surrounding the creation of all lists mentioned in this list.
24. Women I'd like to sleep with.
25. Women who would like to sleep with me. (that will be a short list, if a list at all)
26. A list of 75 more things I could potentially make a list of.

10 Things I Hate About You

A letter from Buddy J to Boshaft.

10 Things I Hate About You

1) You have very expensive things.
2) You make me want very expensive things.
3) You don’t let me use your very expensive things.
4) You yell at me for touching your very expensive things.
5) You make me come over and watch you use your very expensive things.
6) You mock me for my lack of very expensive things.
7) You take me shopping with you when you go to buy your very expensive things.
8) You blame me when something is wrong with your very expensive things.
9) You make me hold your very expensive things when you rearrange them.
10) I can’t get to your very expensive things because I can’t fit though the dog gate that leads to the room where you store them.

PS - Can you remember to lube the gate the next time? I got a nasty rash from the way it rubbed against my gut the last time. --thanks

PPS - And don't forget the pineapple next time:D

Boshaft's Bucket List

This is my unfinished "Bucket List"

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1. Witness something majestic
2. Write an important piece of literature
3. Create a grand/historical work of art
4. Attend a massive concert as a featured DJ
5. Meet 1 million people
6. Win a Nobel Prize
7. Own something that will change the world and make me filthy rich
8. Learn how to surf
9. Earn a Ph.D.
10. Fly an airplane
11. Ride in an airplane
12. Travel into space
13. Understand "the void"
14. Go RVing
15. Skydive
16. Hike a mountain/climb a mountain
17. Own a beautiful home/school/library
18. Own a 1969 Chevy Chevelle SS
19. Own a 1969 Shelby GT500
20. Own a 2003 Mazda RX-8
21. View a serene landscape
22. Paint a grand painting
23. Marry a beautiful/loving woman
24. Have 2 children, a boy and a girl
25. Travel the world and all the "wonders"
26. Be in a popular movie
27. Watch the Olympics live in person
28. Ride dune buggy in-on sand dunes
29. Motocross racing
30. Go mudding
31. Watch monster trucks
32. Live in a log cabin
33. Learn hieroglyphics
34. Goto Egypt and all the "tombs"
35. Make a video for YouTube and accumulate over 1 million views

Things You SHOULDN'T Drink

Me and Cybercon frequently ask relative and retarded questions about philosophy. One that came up was things you would never drink. Here is our combined list. We assumed that our mothers were the end-all-be-all, but we came up 116 others. Here they are, and enjoy not vomiting.

1. Urine
2. T-Pain
3. Crunk Juice
4. Red Bull
5. Booty Juice
6. Spit
7. Any of the mystery fluid on mxc
8. Tonic water
9. Gin
10. The tears of an emo
11. Water from my bird feeder
12. Coffee
13. Placenta
14. sperm soda
15. Power Thirst
16. Gun
17. Bird Shit
18. Gas
19. Canal water
20. Toilet water
21. sweat
22. Liquid nail
23. liquid plumber
24. bong water
25. eggs
26. anything featured on two girls 1 cup
27. vomit
28. poo
29. liquid nail
30. Chlorine
31. Pool water
32. the blood of anything non baby
33. the american flag
34. any mccafe
35. backwash
36. all the above
37. anything in between
38. all the below
39. music
40. brake fluid
41. obama
42. pus
43. bug juice
44. bug spray
45. the white crap that pops out when you squish a palmetto
46. battery acid
47. hairspray
48. diet coke
49. moisture on your taint
50. anything made on iron chef
51. lube
52. hair grease
53. anything secreting from a mexican
54. sweat collected from a rave
55. pre cum
56. water from mexico
57. perrier
58. soggy waffle
59. soulja boy
60. Bile
61. blood
62. salt water
63. any manly secretions
64. diarrhea
65. tattoo ink
66. tv plasma
67. mercury
68. Big red
69. seltzer water/tonic water/club
70. water thats been on a roof for 10 years
71. period blood
72. embryonic fluid
73. ova
74. SHOCKOLATE!!!!!!!!!!
75. Gas/Diesel
76. Lake/Canal water
77. The grease off a McDonald's Floor
78. Gorilla Glue
79. Moldy Cookie Dough
80.Old beef Stew
81. rotten egg
82. rotten milk
83. spoiled egg nogg
84. super-old, moldy, fruit can found 7 years after made
85. hairy water
86. bleach
87. ammonia
88.scented oils
89. tide
90. cigarettes
91. music
92. transmission fluid
93. pimple juice
94. toilet paper(used in toilet)
95. soap
96. hair gel, shampoo,or conditioner
97. Mickey Mouse
98. ear wax
99. anything from a cauldron
100. anything made by grandma
101. taco bell grease
102. toe jam
103. goat milk
104. cow tongue
105. water from water balloon
106. water from a public pool
107. Michael Jackson
108. Elevator Grease
109. Black people's hair grease
110. Mustard water
111. mop water
112. public restroom
113. organic milk
114. old yogurt
115. green tea
116. John McCaine's Swollen glands

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* DISCLAIMER: "Not that we have drunk these or anything. >.>"

List Of Things Needed To Succeed

I've learned over the years several things that one will need to succeed in life. I'm here now to share them with you. Starting with number 1.

1) NEVER TELL ANYONE ALL OF WHAT YOU KNOW
2) ....